Most parents don’t know exactly what to expect when entering parenthood. Specifically, mothers sometimes don’t know how to behave towards their daughters in many cases. Mothers face what may seem like a difficult decision- “should I just be a mother, provider, and authority figure or should I be my daughter’s friend?”. There are pros and cons to each of these scenarios and they will be discussed below. However, it is important to note that not all mother-daughter relationships are the same and not all situations call for the same parenting style. Here are the differences between being an authoritarian parent and a friend- like a parent.
If you are someone who wants to perfectly structure your daughter’s life for your or her benefit, then odds are you may be a strict parent. Rules and guidelines are the premises of your parenting style. Pros to strictly sticking to an authority figure in terms of dealing with your daughter include: giving them a good and disciplined foundation, showing them the need to respect their elders and people of a higher status than them, and if the daughter adheres to the rules, she will probably be the “perfect child”. Cons of this parenting style come when the daughter feels a need to rebel against her mother or when she feels a lack of love and companionship because of the strictness and unwillingness to compromise.
Often times, parents who are more like friends to their kids than parents felt some sort of void between their own parents and themselves when growing up. Children who experience a lack of relationship with their own parents often turn around and strive to be as close to their kids as possible and this sometimes entails becoming overly lenient and more friend-like with their kids. Pros of being like this with your daughter include a close bond and a likelihood that she will be open with you about goings-on in her life. Cons include difficulty disciplining them when necessary and the kids growing up with lack of structure.
While all of these pros and cons are not definitive indicators of how your relationship will be with your daughter depending on your parenting style, they are important factors to consider when entering motherhood.