When you have kids, having a full-blown row with your partner can feel like the wrong thing to do. Nobody wants their kids to witness that from their parents, and it can leave the whole household feeling tense and anxious for hours. However, arguing with your partner (sometimes) is healthy, and a natural part of a long-term relationship. Here are some tips on how to make sure your arguments are healthy and productive and are having as little impact on your children as possible.
Set Some Boundaries
You and your partner need to agree that certain times and places are not the right space for an argument—the breakfast table with your kids sitting around it, for example, or during a family day out. Of course, small spats and disagreements can’t be predicted or planned for, but if you know that there’s an issue that you and your partner are likely to argue about, try and schedule your discussion for when the kids are at school or asleep.
Talk to Your Kids
Be open and honest with your children, and explain that sometimes even adults who really love each other have arguments. Let them ask questions, and ask them to tell you how they feel—if your kids feel worried, upset, or concerned about your arguments, it might be time to think about seeking some professional help to support you and your partner to communicate better.
If you’re feeling annoyed at your partner, take some time and give yourself a breather. If, after some reflection, you still think your irritation is justified, why not send them a text calmly explaining your point of view and asking for theirs? Sometimes, communication is easier when done through our phones, and it means that you and your partner can air your views without getting cross in front of the kids.